My ex was a volatile person. Anger was their entire personality. I had many reasons to believe they didn’t love me, but their constant state of anger was one of the biggest. I was always being yelled at, blamed, accused, and even physically hurt. So much hate was being spewed my way, on a daily basis.

When I escaped, I did a lot of self-reflection, and was ashamed to see that I had been no better than my ex. While I may never have physically harmed a loved one while angry, I did plenty of emotional damage. I was always quick to anger, and my goal was to hurt. I told my friends, my family that I loved them, and then turned around and angrily spoke some of the most hateful things. It’s no wonder people didn’t feel loved by me. I was weak. I was immature.

It’s hard work to reteach yourself how to deal with anger. It’s second nature to just let loose, and fire off foul language and hateful vitriol. The hard work is worth it, though. Not only do you gain some wisdom, and experience profound personal growth, but your loved ones will feel loved. Thinking, and praying before opening your mouth during any moment of anger is a sign of maturity. You become a better person. You will feel more content, you will feel lighter, you will have more self-worth, even. If I can learn to think and pray before speaking, if I can learn not to spew hate even in moments of intense anger, you can too.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.