When I was younger, I was dating this guy that was a bit off. He enjoyed yelling at me, and blaming me for everything. He enjoyed giving me visible hickeys, (I protested every time) and sending me out, as if he was claiming me as his property. One night, he drugged me. That night, he said and did many evil things, all while claiming he loved me, and looking positively ecstatic that I was paralyzed and terrified. For some reason this was my wake-up call, he most certainly did not love me, and he was incredibly dangerous.

My story isn’t anything new, heartbreakingly enough. The more unusual part is that I left the relationship soon after. So many people stay in abusive relationships because of ‘love’. I’ve heard women say that it’s their own fault their guy hit them, or raped them. These women claim their guy loves them, and just gets angry. That they need to just be patient, and love these ‘men’ through the rough patches. I’ve been that woman.

Abused people have a misconception about love. For the longest time, I equated sex and abuse with love. If I wasn’t being abused, and used for sex, I wasn’t loved. I developed a pattern of choosing abusive partners, and suffering in many different ways. I claimed I was happy, and not only did I love whoever was abusing me at the time, but they loved me even more.

Abuse is not love, it’s hatred, it’s evil. If you are loved, you will not live in fear, you will not be beaten, you will not be raped, you simply will not be abused. You will be safe. Evil doesn’t stop, sometimes it just takes a break. Love does not delight in evil. Ever.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil.