Honest to a fault, that’s what people have said about my husband. He doesn’t have much of a filter, and quite frankly, I depend on that. After being in relationship after relationship with people who always lied to me, I found his honesty refreshing. I still do. If I am ready to leave the house, and I look like I’m wearing a nightgown, I know I can depend on him to say something. And he has. His honesty, his bluntness is wanted, and needed. I have become a more relaxed person, because I don’t sit back and worry if what he’s saying is true or not.

Being truthful is difficult. We don’t want to hurt our loved ones, and we don’t want to get hurt. While lies are a breeding ground for loneliness and anxiety, the truth is a fundamental building block to vulnerability, intimacy, and long-lasting relationships. Lying takes no skill, no real effort. For most of us, we have found that lies just roll off the tongue, at least they used to for me. At some point I looked at what all of my lying had done for me, and I found that I was surrounded by misery. People didn’t depend on me, because they couldn’t. I had no relationships of substance and meaning. There was no love in my life, and it was eye-opening. Now, after years of growth, and truth telling, I can look around me, and love surrounds me. My family, my friends depend on me, because they know that they can. I’m honest, I’m open, I allow myself to be vulnerable, I allow room for emotional intimacy.

I’m an advocate for the truth because I firmly believe that it’s good, it’s Godly, it’s right. Sometimes the truth sucks, it surely doesn’t cater to anyone. That’s also what I love about it. It isn’t subjective, it’s consistent. We all need that. I don’t always love being truthful, and I definitely don’t always love hearing it, but I always appreciate it. It’s always an opportunity to grow, and become a better version of myself. It’s always an opportunity to strengthen relationships.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.