Making the overwhelming journey of rebuilding myself a more positive experience was my goal. Instead of hyper focusing on the depressing facts of how little I knew about Marie, I threw a positive spin on it, and tried to make it more about freedom. I finally had the freedom to dress however I wanted, eat whatever I want, buy whatever I want. I was no longer someone’s slave. I was no longer a prisoner in my own house or body. I was free.

Freedom brought on the ability to watch anything on TV I wanted, listen to any music I wanted. I no longer had to watch or listen to the garbage E chose. I no longer had a script to follow when talking to my family. Freedom also brought on my body’s ability to heal. Sure, panic attacks and anxiety were still daily, but I was no longer perpetually nauseous. It was rare for me to get really ill. My brain was functioning, I was more alert, and aware of my surroundings.

My time with E had caused me to gain a substantial amount of weight, and I was never allowed to do anything about it before. Now, I was able to workout, and just be more active in my day to day life. Even with all of these amazing changes, I struggled.