Broken, hopeless, and even more angry than I had ever been, I moved back to my home state. I bought a small house that I had no desire to live in for long. God had taken so much from me, and I was determined not to stay on this earth for much longer. While I was deep in my grief, a close friend of mine needed a favor. A family member of their boyfriend needed a place to stay for a short time. My gut said no, but I agreed.

I can’t remember how long he stayed with me, and I wish that I could forget what I do remember. I’ll give him an initial for this post, ‘A’. A was into witchcraft, alcohol, and power. A had a gun, a rifle I believe. He was violent, and he was a master at controlling others, especially me. He liked to mark me before I left the house, so people would know I was taken. He made me buy him a cellphone, so he could stay in contact with me when he left. He had me buy him a new wardrobe. He made me do spells with him, spells that involved mixing my blood with his. He made me buy witchcraft books, and tools.

He raped me on my couch. He used threats to keep me in line. Threats to my life probably wouldn’t have done anything, but the threats to my family and to my close friend and their family were what kept me in line. He did leave one day. He stole my car, and was gone. Of course, I didn’t trust that he wasn’t still around, so when he called or texted me, I would quickly respond. He still had control. He’d tell me what I could do, what I could wear, and what I could eat. He always mentioned what would happen if I disobeyed. He had me send money to people he knew. He’d taken all of my money, so I couldn’t do that for long.

Eventually I stopped getting calls and texts. I did hear that my car had been totaled many states away. I didn’t care. He was gone, my loved ones were safe. I wasn’t though. My house was a nightmare. My husband was dead, my baby was dead. I had been drugged and raped in a house that was supposed to be safe for me. I was raped by another monster in a house I owned. I was done. I was financially broke, and broken in spirit as well. Death couldn’t come soon enough.

And then I met E.