He never saw the abuse. E wasn’t one to leave marks, and when E made his ‘official’ move on me, I went with it, and played the dutiful, happy girlfriend. It was easy, as I had become numb to life, and malleable. M didn’t like E, but he, like most others, never could have imagined the monster that E was. I never uttered a word. If I had told him, or my family, the abuse would have stopped immediately. I have no doubt about that.

E must have noticed the way I watched M with adoration and excitement. I believe he noticed the way I lit up whenever M was around. So, naturally, E moved me away. M stayed in contact for a little while, but eventually we stopped communicating. I felt like I had lost another soulmate. His absence was excruciating, and left a hollowness within me. A chaste kiss he left on my lips before we moved away, lingered on my heart, and became my only source of comfort. I became more dependent on E, and more determined to leave this ugly, painful world behind. But, something happened towards the end of my time with E.

M reached out. He told me he loved me. You see, at that time while I was working on my plan to end my life, God was working on another plan. A few things happened all at once, M told me he loved me, a wonderful family member of mine told me things that started to wake me up a little, and I was becoming a bit more coherent. All of that led to the morning I described in the beginning of this series.