• Love Bomber

    Yesterday I was so angry with the Sean Combs verdict, that when I wrote my post I left out a major part of why I, and many others, stayed in a long-term abusive relationship. Love bombs. Oftentimes, when E would go off on me, physically or verbally, he would follow it up with the usual…

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  • Why Did I Stay?

    Throughout the years, with and even before E, I had been told that I deserved the abuse I was receiving. Not only was it my fault, but not a single person would believe me if I were to speak of it. I started hearing these things when I was a young child, and when you…

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  • Why Do We Stay? Pt. 3

    E molded me into a submissive slave. He taught me early on, in the friendship stage, not to argue with him. If I, or anyone for that matter, had a differing opinion, or dared to tell him he was wrong about something, he would come back with ‘It’s because I’m a man, isn’t it?!’, or…

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  • Why Do We Stay? Pt.2

    I was never sexually attracted to E, something he was aware of because he seemed to be very attracted to me. E needed to remedy that, so that he could feel like I wanted him. His method was to shame me. It started with shaming me for having adult toys. He did such a good…

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  • Why Do We Stay?

    This series takes a lot out of me, which is why I haven’t been consistent. Part of me just wanted to move on from it, but then I kept hearing people talk about the Sean Combs trial. People, like Bill Maher seem to think leaving an abusive situation is easy. As easy as calling the…

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  • The Other Side

    Mending my relationships was difficult. I’d been hurting my family for so long, and I had no idea how to tell them why this time was different. I felt ashamed for allowing E to control me, ashamed for the abuse I suffered at his hands, ashamed that I didn’t talk to them, didn’t share with…

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  • The Runaway

    Fleeing E was supposed to bring me peace, and comfort. I had dreams of living for myself, laughing, and making the most out of my newfound freedom. I never thought that life after him would be as painful as life with him, but it was. He still had control over me, and I was getting…

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  • In The Midst

    My family, and my husband, M, harbor hurt for me not telling them what was going on. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to vocalize the reasoning. I’m willing to bet there are others like me out there, and I want you to be able to learn something from me, and not make my…

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  • My Companion, Terror

    He knew where I was. Not only did E know where to find me, he was relentless in his emails. His plan of attack was to fake love for me. He would email me promises of letting me keep my own money. He would find a way to take care of me. I could even…

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  • Rebuilding Myself

    Making the overwhelming journey of rebuilding myself a more positive experience was my goal. Instead of hyper focusing on the depressing facts of how little I knew about Marie, I threw a positive spin on it, and tried to make it more about freedom. I finally had the freedom to dress however I wanted, eat…

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