faith
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Yesterday I was so angry with the Sean Combs verdict, that when I wrote my post I left out a major part of why I, and many others, stayed in a long-term abusive relationship. Love bombs. Oftentimes, when E would go off on me, physically or verbally, he would follow it up with the usual…
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Throughout the years, with and even before E, I had been told that I deserved the abuse I was receiving. Not only was it my fault, but not a single person would believe me if I were to speak of it. I started hearing these things when I was a young child, and when you…
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E molded me into a submissive slave. He taught me early on, in the friendship stage, not to argue with him. If I, or anyone for that matter, had a differing opinion, or dared to tell him he was wrong about something, he would come back with ‘It’s because I’m a man, isn’t it?!’, or…
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Mending my relationships was difficult. I’d been hurting my family for so long, and I had no idea how to tell them why this time was different. I felt ashamed for allowing E to control me, ashamed for the abuse I suffered at his hands, ashamed that I didn’t talk to them, didn’t share with…
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Fleeing E was supposed to bring me peace, and comfort. I had dreams of living for myself, laughing, and making the most out of my newfound freedom. I never thought that life after him would be as painful as life with him, but it was. He still had control over me, and I was getting…
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Making the overwhelming journey of rebuilding myself a more positive experience was my goal. Instead of hyper focusing on the depressing facts of how little I knew about Marie, I threw a positive spin on it, and tried to make it more about freedom. I finally had the freedom to dress however I wanted, eat…
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One morning, at the crack of dawn, I woke up. In a moment of clarity, the reality of my situation hit me like a Mack truck. Emotions flooded me in the most overwhelming way. I was finally awake to the nightmare that had become my life. Desperation overtook me, and I instantly had a plan…
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My body started to quit on me. I developed anxiety, panic disorder, I was constantly nauseous, and constantly violently ill. My brain had checked out. I had moments of being coherent, and knowing something wasn’t right, but they were short lived. E broke me. He knew where to hurt me physically, and how, so there…
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Fake Christians are probably the people I despise the most. They make it near-impossible to bring people to Christ, because so many people have come across a fake Christian, and it’s left a nasty taste in their mouth. I can’t say that I blame them. Christians are supposed to be Christ-like. We have all seen…
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Sleeping is something that I am horrible at. This has been true for as long as I can remember. As a child, I was terrified of the dark, had horrible night terrors, and was just anxious about sleeping in general. Beside my bed was a picture of a puppy with a Bible verse, ‘Be Still…