family

  • When I’m asking God for guidance, I ask Him to dumb it down for me. I tend to question if it’s God telling me no, or if it’s my own doubts. Is He telling me yes, or is it my own wants that I’m hearing. This has led me to ask God to make His…

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  • My mind likes to wonder. I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember. I will be listening to someone or something, and have several other unrelated thoughts going through my mind at the same time. It’s inconvenient, rude, and frustrating, so I tried to find a way to help myself. At church,…

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  • In order to build a strong, lasting, intimate relationship with God, we have to realize that He has terms and conditions. Like any good parent, He loves us enough not to spoil us. Sure, He is more than capable of answering all our prayers, completely taking away all our burdens, and letting us just live…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 15

    For the first time since I was in middle school, I was unmedicated. My emotions were difficult to control, and they felt foreign. This was my newest hurdle. I had to learn to feel things in a healthier way. I had to reign in my emotions. With God leading the way, I slowly learned how…

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  • Monsters Are Real

    There is so much going on in our world that it’s led me to have flashbacks about a certain individual, on a certain night. After several days of trying to just move past it, and ignore the pain, I have decided to do what I feel led to. Here is a sick story, with a…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 14

    My thoughts scared me at times, but I wasn’t going to give in. I wasn’t going to give E the satisfaction of breaking me to the point I cut myself, or worse. I wasn’t going to let any of the monsters from my past win, and I certainly wasn’t going to act selfishly, and potentially…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 13

    One morning, M woke up living the bachelor life, and that night he went to bed with me and my dog as his new roommates. My ex had finally scared me enough to flee the state, and seek safety in another. I didn’t tell anyone why I fled. Shame kept my mouth shut. I was…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 12

    Starting a relationship with a broken and beaten down individual is a difficult thing. M learned that. One minute I’d be trying to get closer to him by opening up, the next I was pushing him away and ending things. I was terrified that not only would he see me as I saw myself, dirty,…

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  • Brief Intermission

    There is a lot going on for us all, I believe, so I feel like you will be understanding of the following. I’m going to take a brief intermission with this series. My body is telling me I need a break, as stress is showing up in physical ways now. With Christmas and New Years…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 11

    He never saw the abuse. E wasn’t one to leave marks, and when E made his ‘official’ move on me, I went with it, and played the dutiful, happy girlfriend. It was easy, as I had become numb to life, and malleable. M didn’t like E, but he, like most others, never could have imagined…

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