family
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Unbeknownst to me, E had been going around telling people that we were dating. He was marking his territory well before he made his first ‘official’ move on me. Looking back at the day I met M, it all becomes clear, but I was oblivious then. E had been warning me that M was an…
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He wanted to meet my biological family, as I had somewhat of a dysfunctional relationship with them at the time. We flew to stay with them for a week or so. They all hated each other. E hated them because they were manipulative people. The irony is not lost on me. They hated him because…
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Broken, hopeless, and even more angry than I had ever been, I moved back to my home state. I bought a small house that I had no desire to live in for long. God had taken so much from me, and I was determined not to stay on this earth for much longer. While I…
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This post comes with a Trigger Warning. Part 6 is about being drugged and raped. This may be a long post, because I can’t split this one up. It’s too difficult to write about. After my husband died, a part of me went with him. I had an opportunity to leave the state and move…
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When I was a young teenager, I met my first husband. He was not much older than me. He was a light to my dark thoughts, and feelings. I had so much love for him, and I knew he loved me just as much. He never once took advantage of me. He was the first…
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In the midst of the sexual abuse I battled other things, as well. Body dysmorphia was one. I still battle with it. I remember getting my first tattoo, and it was the first time I looked in the mirror and smiled. More tattoos followed, and they give me something to smile about to this day.…
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Let’s go back a little, so you know what happened to me that created so much hatred and anger towards God. My whole story helps tell the story of how I built an intimate relationship with Him, and how I came to know Him so well. Maybe you’ll see yourself here. I hope you don’t.…
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I felt God wrap me up in His warm embrace. I wasn’t alone, and for the first time in far too long, I felt safe. Even with E next to me. God was with me. He did love me. He felt my agony, the fear, the loneliness. God gave me exactly what I needed. He…
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Hate and resentment. That’s what I felt towards God for the longest time. I just couldn’t comprehend how a loving God could allow a child to be sexually abused. How could He allow that same child to be sexually abused, and sexually assaulted by so many people for so many years? How could a loving…
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One day, someone may be bored and look back on all of my posts, and comments, both here and on X. There will be a discrepancy. I have mentioned not knowing my ancestry, and also having some African ancestry, and maybe some others. Here’s why both are true. I am adopted, and in my adoption…
Objectively Truthful 