family

  • Imagine It…

    Imagine watching your loved one cry on such a level that you didn’t even know was possible. Their very soul is falling to pieces in front of your eyes. You helplessly hold them, knowing nothing in this entire world can bring them comfort. Imagine watching your loved one go from being filled with happiness, and…

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  • Why Am I Here? Pt. 2

    One night, while everyone else was sleeping, I was wide awake, feeling antsy. I was mindlessly scrolling on my laptop, when I felt an overwhelming urge to check out WordPress. I checked out the different price points, looked into having my own domain, and started to develop an idea of what I wanted to pay…

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  • Not The Momma Pt. 1

    Growing up, I wanted to be a variety of things ranging from a boy, ice skater, ballerina, teacher, dragon to a housewife. Through the ever changing list, one always remained. I wanted to be a mom. The older I got, the more intense the desire to have kids became. At one point, I stopped caring…

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  • Love Bomber

    Yesterday I was so angry with the Sean Combs verdict, that when I wrote my post I left out a major part of why I, and many others, stayed in a long-term abusive relationship. Love bombs. Oftentimes, when E would go off on me, physically or verbally, he would follow it up with the usual…

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  • Why Did I Stay?

    Throughout the years, with and even before E, I had been told that I deserved the abuse I was receiving. Not only was it my fault, but not a single person would believe me if I were to speak of it. I started hearing these things when I was a young child, and when you…

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  • The Other Side

    Mending my relationships was difficult. I’d been hurting my family for so long, and I had no idea how to tell them why this time was different. I felt ashamed for allowing E to control me, ashamed for the abuse I suffered at his hands, ashamed that I didn’t talk to them, didn’t share with…

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  • The Runaway

    Fleeing E was supposed to bring me peace, and comfort. I had dreams of living for myself, laughing, and making the most out of my newfound freedom. I never thought that life after him would be as painful as life with him, but it was. He still had control over me, and I was getting…

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  • In The Midst

    My family, and my husband, M, harbor hurt for me not telling them what was going on. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to vocalize the reasoning. I’m willing to bet there are others like me out there, and I want you to be able to learn something from me, and not make my…

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  • My Companion, Terror

    He knew where I was. Not only did E know where to find me, he was relentless in his emails. His plan of attack was to fake love for me. He would email me promises of letting me keep my own money. He would find a way to take care of me. I could even…

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  • Shaking Stockholm

    For several years I was told how to dress, how to do my hair. I was told what to say when talking to anyone outside of E’s circle. I was told what I could spend my own money on. Every aspect of my life was ruled by E. I had no say. Doctors appointments were…

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