life
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When I was a young teenager, I met my first husband. He was not much older than me. He was a light to my dark thoughts, and feelings. I had so much love for him, and I knew he loved me just as much. He never once took advantage of me. He was the first…
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In the midst of the sexual abuse I battled other things, as well. Body dysmorphia was one. I still battle with it. I remember getting my first tattoo, and it was the first time I looked in the mirror and smiled. More tattoos followed, and they give me something to smile about to this day.…
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Let’s go back a little, so you know what happened to me that created so much hatred and anger towards God. My whole story helps tell the story of how I built an intimate relationship with Him, and how I came to know Him so well. Maybe you’ll see yourself here. I hope you don’t.…
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When I started this blog, it was in the midst of a pretty stressful period. I had a bunch of doctor’s appointments, which was new since I usually only go once or twice a year, kicking and screaming. Some appointments were with specialists, which gets costly and that added to the stress in significant ways.…
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Growing up, I wanted to be a variety of things ranging from a boy, ice skater, ballerina, teacher, dragon to a housewife. Through the ever changing list, one always remained. I wanted to be a mom. The older I got, the more intense the desire to have kids became. At one point, I stopped caring…
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Yesterday I was so angry with the Sean Combs verdict, that when I wrote my post I left out a major part of why I, and many others, stayed in a long-term abusive relationship. Love bombs. Oftentimes, when E would go off on me, physically or verbally, he would follow it up with the usual…
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Throughout the years, with and even before E, I had been told that I deserved the abuse I was receiving. Not only was it my fault, but not a single person would believe me if I were to speak of it. I started hearing these things when I was a young child, and when you…
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This series takes a lot out of me, which is why I haven’t been consistent. Part of me just wanted to move on from it, but then I kept hearing people talk about the Sean Combs trial. People, like Bill Maher seem to think leaving an abusive situation is easy. As easy as calling the…
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My family, and my husband, M, harbor hurt for me not telling them what was going on. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to vocalize the reasoning. I’m willing to bet there are others like me out there, and I want you to be able to learn something from me, and not make my…
