mental-health

  • Why Do We Stay? Pt.2

    I was never sexually attracted to E, something he was aware of because he seemed to be very attracted to me. E needed to remedy that, so that he could feel like I wanted him. His method was to shame me. It started with shaming me for having adult toys. He did such a good…

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  • Why Do We Stay?

    This series takes a lot out of me, which is why I haven’t been consistent. Part of me just wanted to move on from it, but then I kept hearing people talk about the Sean Combs trial. People, like Bill Maher seem to think leaving an abusive situation is easy. As easy as calling the…

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  • In The Midst

    My family, and my husband, M, harbor hurt for me not telling them what was going on. I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to vocalize the reasoning. I’m willing to bet there are others like me out there, and I want you to be able to learn something from me, and not make my…

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  • Rebuilding Myself

    Making the overwhelming journey of rebuilding myself a more positive experience was my goal. Instead of hyper focusing on the depressing facts of how little I knew about Marie, I threw a positive spin on it, and tried to make it more about freedom. I finally had the freedom to dress however I wanted, eat…

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  • The Living Dead

    My body started to quit on me. I developed anxiety, panic disorder, I was constantly nauseous, and constantly violently ill. My brain had checked out. I had moments of being coherent, and knowing something wasn’t right, but they were short lived. E broke me. He knew where to hurt me physically, and how, so there…

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  • Lies We Tell Ourselves

    Not too long ago I was talking to a loved one, and they were talking about how they don’t want to complain about being raped, because it wasn’t violent. They had no broken bones, no bruises. I’ve been there, feeling ashamed, feeling guilty that others were raped and left physically broken, while I was only…

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