rape
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There is so much going on in our world that it’s led me to have flashbacks about a certain individual, on a certain night. After several days of trying to just move past it, and ignore the pain, I have decided to do what I feel led to. Here is a sick story, with a…
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Broken, hopeless, and even more angry than I had ever been, I moved back to my home state. I bought a small house that I had no desire to live in for long. God had taken so much from me, and I was determined not to stay on this earth for much longer. While I…
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This post comes with a Trigger Warning. Part 6 is about being drugged and raped. This may be a long post, because I can’t split this one up. It’s too difficult to write about. After my husband died, a part of me went with him. I had an opportunity to leave the state and move…
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Let’s go back a little, so you know what happened to me that created so much hatred and anger towards God. My whole story helps tell the story of how I built an intimate relationship with Him, and how I came to know Him so well. Maybe you’ll see yourself here. I hope you don’t.…
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I felt God wrap me up in His warm embrace. I wasn’t alone, and for the first time in far too long, I felt safe. Even with E next to me. God was with me. He did love me. He felt my agony, the fear, the loneliness. God gave me exactly what I needed. He…
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Hate and resentment. That’s what I felt towards God for the longest time. I just couldn’t comprehend how a loving God could allow a child to be sexually abused. How could He allow that same child to be sexually abused, and sexually assaulted by so many people for so many years? How could a loving…
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I know evil. I’ve felt its touch on my bare flesh. Always without my consent. I’ve heard its whisper in my ear. Telling me all the vile things it had planned for me. Telling me how sexy it was to watch my face as I was paralyzed by fear and the drugs they had slipped…
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Growing up, I wanted to be a variety of things ranging from a boy, ice skater, ballerina, teacher, dragon to a housewife. Through the ever changing list, one always remained. I wanted to be a mom. The older I got, the more intense the desire to have kids became. At one point, I stopped caring…
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Yesterday I was so angry with the Sean Combs verdict, that when I wrote my post I left out a major part of why I, and many others, stayed in a long-term abusive relationship. Love bombs. Oftentimes, when E would go off on me, physically or verbally, he would follow it up with the usual…
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Throughout the years, with and even before E, I had been told that I deserved the abuse I was receiving. Not only was it my fault, but not a single person would believe me if I were to speak of it. I started hearing these things when I was a young child, and when you…
Objectively Truthful 