writing
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He never saw the abuse. E wasn’t one to leave marks, and when E made his ‘official’ move on me, I went with it, and played the dutiful, happy girlfriend. It was easy, as I had become numb to life, and malleable. M didn’t like E, but he, like most others, never could have imagined…
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Unbeknownst to me, E had been going around telling people that we were dating. He was marking his territory well before he made his first ‘official’ move on me. Looking back at the day I met M, it all becomes clear, but I was oblivious then. E had been warning me that M was an…
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He wanted to meet my biological family, as I had somewhat of a dysfunctional relationship with them at the time. We flew to stay with them for a week or so. They all hated each other. E hated them because they were manipulative people. The irony is not lost on me. They hated him because…
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E was annoyingly upbeat. He laughed loudly, and obnoxiously. He was musical, and endlessly talked about his gift of singing. He sang over every song, and has ruined my appreciation of certain artists to this day. He was loud in his love for God, which on its own is great. But when the person is…
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Broken, hopeless, and even more angry than I had ever been, I moved back to my home state. I bought a small house that I had no desire to live in for long. God had taken so much from me, and I was determined not to stay on this earth for much longer. While I…
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This post comes with a Trigger Warning. Part 6 is about being drugged and raped. This may be a long post, because I can’t split this one up. It’s too difficult to write about. After my husband died, a part of me went with him. I had an opportunity to leave the state and move…
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When I was a young teenager, I met my first husband. He was not much older than me. He was a light to my dark thoughts, and feelings. I had so much love for him, and I knew he loved me just as much. He never once took advantage of me. He was the first…
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In the midst of the sexual abuse I battled other things, as well. Body dysmorphia was one. I still battle with it. I remember getting my first tattoo, and it was the first time I looked in the mirror and smiled. More tattoos followed, and they give me something to smile about to this day.…
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Let’s go back a little, so you know what happened to me that created so much hatred and anger towards God. My whole story helps tell the story of how I built an intimate relationship with Him, and how I came to know Him so well. Maybe you’ll see yourself here. I hope you don’t.…
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When I started this blog, it was in the midst of a pretty stressful period. I had a bunch of doctor’s appointments, which was new since I usually only go once or twice a year, kicking and screaming. Some appointments were with specialists, which gets costly and that added to the stress in significant ways.…
Objectively Truthful 