• His Timing Is…

    God’s timing can be frustrating, at times. We seek Him out for guidance, and we’re in a hurry for His answer, but it feels like we’re met with silence. He never works on our timeline, and while it’s okay to feel annoyed and frustrated, we should still have faith. Keep praying, and know that when…

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  • Writing this series close has proven to be quite impossible. As someone who wants closure in all things, it was driving me crazy, but I waited for God’s direction. After much deliberation, I firmly believe that there is not supposed to be a closing to this series. Yet. My relationship with God is always moving…

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  • To Sleep or Not To Sleep

    Sleep is not something I do well. My mind likes to run marathons, take unwanted walks through memory lane, and my body seems to have an aversion to relaxing. Sleep, for me, is chaotic, and unsatisfying, but I was used to my kind of sleep. A few weeks ago, my sleep got worse. I would…

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  • When I’m asking God for guidance, I ask Him to dumb it down for me. I tend to question if it’s God telling me no, or if it’s my own doubts. Is He telling me yes, or is it my own wants that I’m hearing. This has led me to ask God to make His…

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  • Faith after trauma is difficult, to say the least. We want answers as to why things were allowed to happen to us. Why was evil allowed to take my innocence? Why was my rapist the only one to get me pregnant, only for me to miscarry? Why did my husband have to die? Why couldn’t…

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  • My mind likes to wonder. I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember. I will be listening to someone or something, and have several other unrelated thoughts going through my mind at the same time. It’s inconvenient, rude, and frustrating, so I tried to find a way to help myself. At church,…

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  • Double-Edged Sword

    Hearing another survivor of assault talk about their experience, their feelings brings on two emotions. On one hand it’s utterly heartbreaking. I always wish I was the only person to ever be assaulted. I wish that somehow I could just take on every other person’s trauma, and nightmares. On the other hand, I feel less…

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  • In order to build a strong, lasting, intimate relationship with God, we have to realize that He has terms and conditions. Like any good parent, He loves us enough not to spoil us. Sure, He is more than capable of answering all our prayers, completely taking away all our burdens, and letting us just live…

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  • Sicker Than a Dog

    For the second time this year, I wound up getting sick. This time it was pretty debilitating. Every little movement was exhausting, and painful at times. I am finally recovered, and able to get some writing done. I’m sorry that it’s been so long since I’ve posted, but I promise that in the next couple…

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  • Terms and Conditions pt 15

    For the first time since I was in middle school, I was unmedicated. My emotions were difficult to control, and they felt foreign. This was my newest hurdle. I had to learn to feel things in a healthier way. I had to reign in my emotions. With God leading the way, I slowly learned how…

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